How to get from friend zone to friends with benefits to maybe more…
You’ve known her for a while and she has always been special. Secretly, you are blown away by her looks, her style, her attitude and personality and you have had a crush on her ever since you first laid eyes on her. Her eyes, you’ve already drowned in them several times. But. She sees you as her big brother or her best friend. And that’s a problem. Enough you say? Great! Let’s help you to get out of that friend zone and into the catch zone!
1. What you shouldn’t do
This friend zone is a place no man wants to be in. It means the girl you’re having an eye on, takes all the advantages of you being her boyfriend, but you don’t get anything in return. You have probably already spent a lot of money on what you call dates, but what she refers to as going out. Here are some tips on actions you should avoid.
* Don’t make her think you’re sweet and nice.
Don’t be too nice to her. Don’t act like a bigger brother by trying to protect her from anything scary in the world.
* Don’t be too easy.
She calls you because she needs a ride to date with her friends? Don’t be available at all times and especially not for things you are not involved in. Politely refuse (you can always find an excuse if you don’t want to tell her the truth)
* Don’t act like anything else than a boyfriend.
Don’t give her the impression of settling for being nothing more than a friend. Don’t jump when she tells you to.
* Don’t tolerate the presence of other people when you’re going out. A date with three people is not a date. Ask her for some time alone, just the two of you.
2. What you should do
* Get some distance.
If you are available at all times, she will consider you like a thing that makes her life easier. If you are always there for her, at any time, she won’t realize how much she misses you when you are not around.
* Get in touch.
Like literally get in touch. Search for moments or situations in which you can touch her without immediately grabbing her from behind. When you’re having a drink, you can take the palm of her hand to predict her future. When you’re in line for a movie, touch her back as she is moving forward.
* When you’re in a very crowded place, take her hand, so you won’t lose each other because of all the people around you.
* When you’re in a loud place (f.e. a concert) touch the side of her face or her ear to talk to her. This is also a great place to get her closer to you. Just take her back with one hand and pull her towards you.
* This last one may be a little bit cheesy, but hey, sometimes a guy has to do, what a guy has to do. So here it comes. Whenever you are on a real date (means no other people!) you ask a (female) friend to drop by and let her have a chat with her. Be flirty with this girl without crossing any physical lines. I mean make jokes, be playful… Get your focus (for about three minutes) completely on the other girl so your dates get slightly uncomfortable. After about three minutes, you introduce the girl you’re dating to your friend. And you do it exactly this way:
Oh, let me introduce you to (name)… She’s my date of the night.
First of all, try not to get in that friend zone in the first place. But when you accidentally do, use these tricks to get out of there as soon as possible!
Written by Mike Geerinck
Mike is the Co-Founder and Executive Producer for Amnesti. He has been the creative mastermind and main public speaker at hundreds of Amnesti seminars worldwide. The foundational principles, concepts, and lessons of Amnesti centers around advanced content Mike created while traveling the world and analyzing male-and-female interactions.